On A Voyage

by Mischievous Badger

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about

“On A Voyage” is Mischievous Badger’s third recorded statement as a band, and is perhaps their most successful record to date. Praised as “so incredibly f---ing awesomely stupid” by an esteemed critic, MB’s new record has quickly won over the hearts of Turkish people, meat lovers, British gentlemen and absent-minded males who can relate to the songs enclosed.
“Girl What’s Your Name” blasts out of your speakers like a Soviet rocket. As soon as the computerized drums and Hammond Organ (both MB trademarks) hit, you have no choice but to bob your head. The track also features a marvelously dissonant solo from Chris that miraculously resolves harmonically at the right time and a rousing chorus of “na nan a nan a nan as” that is on par with other musical masterpieces such as “Land Of 1000 Dances.”
Sometimes, when you wake up to a bright sunny morning, you feel a strong desire to go play everybody’s favorite game with balls and sticks: croquet. “Croquet” is a song specifically written for these times. Featuring a section in ¾ (!!!), and plenty of puns, this track is the perfect fit for your next croquet tournament.
Girls are rather easy to impress if you play music. So when Carson sings “Most guys wanna head south, but I go west” to his lover over tender piano, you can bet that his groupies (groupie) will be swarming all over him, regardless of the fact that the lyric doesn’t make any damn sense. MB has written some good lyrics over the course of their three albums, but no rhyme quite compares to “You’re the best girl in the stratosphere, Man I swear your butt’s the fattest sphere.” And, remember, gentlemen, writing songs for girls is usually a more successful means of seduction than honking their breasts.
Mischievous Badger does not understand you if you are a vegetarian,. If you are a vegetarian, you may not understand why Mischievous Badger loves bacon so much, but anyone can understand the awesomeness of the 5-minute rock and roll jam with screaming Muppet voices that is “Bacon Addiction.” No MB album would be complete without Carson yelling random things over two simultaneous organ solos!
Carson Witte and Chris McCarthy have grown up a lot since the picture on the front cover of this album was taken. Actually that’s not true at all. Enjoy this album’s joyous immaturity and may your voyage be a pleasant one.

Recorded at Get Reel Studios and Got Yo Hat Studios. Mixed and Mastered at McMicken Studios. Special thanks to Robert Preston for his phenomenal help once again!

credits

released September 3, 2011

Chris McCarthy- Organ, Piano, Bass
Carson Witte- Vocals, Guitar, Ukelele, Programming

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Track Name: Girl What's Your Name
So I met this little cutie patootie with a fruity booty
And she was mighty fine
I said girl you got any spare change?
Cause I'm in need of a dime
She said boy why you always call me baby
Maybe
You don't even know what my mother named me
I started to panic, couldn't find relief
Cause I knew I'd be single by the end of the week

Girl, what's your name
I can never remember
Girls look the same
Whether June or December

I pick up chicks like a chicken breeder
You got a girlfriend? Well I'd like to meet her
But if her name is complex verbally
Then sayin I love you is hyperbole
I mean every single girl wants to go out to tango
And every single girl is bright orange like a mango
When I walk down the street all the girls shout WANGO
And I'm like hey girl, I can't remember her name though

Because of all of this I've got a problem
I got lots of girls who want my ring like Gollum
They all love me but suddenly go solemn
When I have trouble with the name recallin'

Girl, what's your name
I can never remember
Girls look the same
Whether June or December
Girls are insane
To think I know their initials
Girl it's a shame
That we cant be official

I am not gay
But I find girls confusing
Is there a way
To stop the surname abusing
Girl what's your name
Man it's so damn confusing
Girls look the same
So if I forget excuse me
Track Name: Croquet
Up in the club
Lookin' for love
I got my croquet balls
I could hit my mallet through your hoop
If you'd just return my calls
So get your tickets
To see my wickets
Cause you know I be ballin'
I have got those finest balls
Manufactured by spalding

And I said
Damn, I feel good today
I'm gonna go play croquet
Ain't no reason ain't no way
That I shouldn't play croquet
Cause Damn, I feel good today

Out on my lawn
Dusk or dawn
Playin' croquet and singing my song
Like "welcome to the land where the players play
Croquet! like everyday"
I like croquet, I like it a lot
Play croquet or you're gonna get shot
I'll pull out my .49 and blast you home to satan

Damn, I feel good today
I'm gonna go play croquet
If you like to sing and dance
Take off those dumb golfer pants and say
Man, I'll just play croquet
Track Name: Turkish Delight
Girl, you're the bulb to my electricity
Whenever I'm around you I light up like a Christmas Tree
Girl, I know that this was meant to be
Girl I'm your nemo, and you're my anenome

Girl you are so beautiful
More than just the usual
Let's do business in my cubicle
My love is immovable

Girl I'm singing you this song though I knew it'd be wrong to write
And if I leave, I'm bringing you along, know that you and me bond for life
Girl, you don't mind that I call you girl, right?
Girl if I was Turkish, you'd be my delight

Tonight, you're the only girl in the world
That's an over-exaggeration but it still sounds cool
And if your girl is unimpressed
By the honking of her breasts
Just remember the golden rule

Girls love it when you write them songs cause you know that they'll be impressed
At least more so than if I said girl, you've got a large chest
Most guys wanna head south, but I go west
That didn't make sense, but look, the girls impressed

You're the best girl in the stratosphere
Man I swear your butts the fattest sphere
Are you from outer space?
That's not a pickup line I'm just asking

Girl I'm singing you this song cause I knew it'd be wrong to write
And if I leave, I'm bringing you along, know that you and me bond for life
Girl, you don't mind that I call you girl, right?
Girl if I was Turkish, you'd be my delight
Track Name: Bacon Addiction
(COME ON)
Doctor you're mistaken
The only thing wrong with me is these cravings
(COME ON)
Ain't no pill that I can be takin
To keep me from lovin' that delicious bacon, just like
(YUM YUM)
Ever since I was young
There was nobody there to tell me beware, so I
(CHOW DOWN)
All times of the day
I'll eat until all of that swine's gone away

Because ever since I was a little boy I refused to eat anything but breakfast
And even then only if that morning meal was much heartier than lame old chex mix
One day my mother, she served me beef, so I threw the plate back and it barely missed
And that was the first of many times she said "boy we're gonna take you to the therapist"

(COME ON)
Doctor you're mistaken
The only thing wrong with me is these cravings
(COME ON)
Ain't no pill that I can be takin
To keep me from lovin' that delicious bacon, just like
(YUM YUM)
Ever since I was young
There was nobody there to tell me beware, so I
(CHOW DOWN)
All times of the day
I'll eat until all of that swine's gone away

Bacon addiction is a serious problem
Like a psychedelic band with a delirious followin'
And they can be picturin' a mysterious goblin
But the monster chasing me is deleterious hog bum
And everyone thinks that I'm sick and impaired
Cause I give any pig I meet a conspicuous stare
When I'm done with a meal I still sit in my chair
And I pick up my plate and start licking it bare

Breakfast is my favorite meal
But if there's bacon lunch has the same appeal
It's the only food that can make me feel
Like it's my favorite
Cause it's the greatest

Tri-tip's too lean and salmon's too flat
Ham tastes like cheese and turkey tastes like crap
Ribs are only decent, halibut's just lame
Sausage looks like feces and tripe looks like brains
Barbecue sauce is overrated
I don't need my pork cuts marinated
Only a couple bites before I get jaded
But my need for more bacon never is satiated