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On A Voyage

by Mischievous Badger

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1.
So I met this little cutie patootie with a fruity booty And she was mighty fine I said girl you got any spare change? Cause I'm in need of a dime She said boy why you always call me baby Maybe You don't even know what my mother named me I started to panic, couldn't find relief Cause I knew I'd be single by the end of the week Girl, what's your name I can never remember Girls look the same Whether June or December I pick up chicks like a chicken breeder You got a girlfriend? Well I'd like to meet her But if her name is complex verbally Then sayin I love you is hyperbole I mean every single girl wants to go out to tango And every single girl is bright orange like a mango When I walk down the street all the girls shout WANGO And I'm like hey girl, I can't remember her name though Because of all of this I've got a problem I got lots of girls who want my ring like Gollum They all love me but suddenly go solemn When I have trouble with the name recallin' Girl, what's your name I can never remember Girls look the same Whether June or December Girls are insane To think I know their initials Girl it's a shame That we cant be official I am not gay But I find girls confusing Is there a way To stop the surname abusing Girl what's your name Man it's so damn confusing Girls look the same So if I forget excuse me
2.
Croquet 02:39
Up in the club Lookin' for love I got my croquet balls I could hit my mallet through your hoop If you'd just return my calls So get your tickets To see my wickets Cause you know I be ballin' I have got those finest balls Manufactured by spalding And I said Damn, I feel good today I'm gonna go play croquet Ain't no reason ain't no way That I shouldn't play croquet Cause Damn, I feel good today Out on my lawn Dusk or dawn Playin' croquet and singing my song Like "welcome to the land where the players play Croquet! like everyday" I like croquet, I like it a lot Play croquet or you're gonna get shot I'll pull out my .49 and blast you home to satan Damn, I feel good today I'm gonna go play croquet If you like to sing and dance Take off those dumb golfer pants and say Man, I'll just play croquet
3.
Girl, you're the bulb to my electricity Whenever I'm around you I light up like a Christmas Tree Girl, I know that this was meant to be Girl I'm your nemo, and you're my anenome Girl you are so beautiful More than just the usual Let's do business in my cubicle My love is immovable Girl I'm singing you this song though I knew it'd be wrong to write And if I leave, I'm bringing you along, know that you and me bond for life Girl, you don't mind that I call you girl, right? Girl if I was Turkish, you'd be my delight Tonight, you're the only girl in the world That's an over-exaggeration but it still sounds cool And if your girl is unimpressed By the honking of her breasts Just remember the golden rule Girls love it when you write them songs cause you know that they'll be impressed At least more so than if I said girl, you've got a large chest Most guys wanna head south, but I go west That didn't make sense, but look, the girls impressed You're the best girl in the stratosphere Man I swear your butts the fattest sphere Are you from outer space? That's not a pickup line I'm just asking Girl I'm singing you this song cause I knew it'd be wrong to write And if I leave, I'm bringing you along, know that you and me bond for life Girl, you don't mind that I call you girl, right? Girl if I was Turkish, you'd be my delight
4.
(COME ON) Doctor you're mistaken The only thing wrong with me is these cravings (COME ON) Ain't no pill that I can be takin To keep me from lovin' that delicious bacon, just like (YUM YUM) Ever since I was young There was nobody there to tell me beware, so I (CHOW DOWN) All times of the day I'll eat until all of that swine's gone away Because ever since I was a little boy I refused to eat anything but breakfast And even then only if that morning meal was much heartier than lame old chex mix One day my mother, she served me beef, so I threw the plate back and it barely missed And that was the first of many times she said "boy we're gonna take you to the therapist" (COME ON) Doctor you're mistaken The only thing wrong with me is these cravings (COME ON) Ain't no pill that I can be takin To keep me from lovin' that delicious bacon, just like (YUM YUM) Ever since I was young There was nobody there to tell me beware, so I (CHOW DOWN) All times of the day I'll eat until all of that swine's gone away Bacon addiction is a serious problem Like a psychedelic band with a delirious followin' And they can be picturin' a mysterious goblin But the monster chasing me is deleterious hog bum And everyone thinks that I'm sick and impaired Cause I give any pig I meet a conspicuous stare When I'm done with a meal I still sit in my chair And I pick up my plate and start licking it bare Breakfast is my favorite meal But if there's bacon lunch has the same appeal It's the only food that can make me feel Like it's my favorite Cause it's the greatest Tri-tip's too lean and salmon's too flat Ham tastes like cheese and turkey tastes like crap Ribs are only decent, halibut's just lame Sausage looks like feces and tripe looks like brains Barbecue sauce is overrated I don't need my pork cuts marinated Only a couple bites before I get jaded But my need for more bacon never is satiated

about

“On A Voyage” is Mischievous Badger’s third recorded statement as a band, and is perhaps their most successful record to date. Praised as “so incredibly f---ing awesomely stupid” by an esteemed critic, MB’s new record has quickly won over the hearts of Turkish people, meat lovers, British gentlemen and absent-minded males who can relate to the songs enclosed.
“Girl What’s Your Name” blasts out of your speakers like a Soviet rocket. As soon as the computerized drums and Hammond Organ (both MB trademarks) hit, you have no choice but to bob your head. The track also features a marvelously dissonant solo from Chris that miraculously resolves harmonically at the right time and a rousing chorus of “na nan a nan a nan as” that is on par with other musical masterpieces such as “Land Of 1000 Dances.”
Sometimes, when you wake up to a bright sunny morning, you feel a strong desire to go play everybody’s favorite game with balls and sticks: croquet. “Croquet” is a song specifically written for these times. Featuring a section in ¾ (!!!), and plenty of puns, this track is the perfect fit for your next croquet tournament.
Girls are rather easy to impress if you play music. So when Carson sings “Most guys wanna head south, but I go west” to his lover over tender piano, you can bet that his groupies (groupie) will be swarming all over him, regardless of the fact that the lyric doesn’t make any damn sense. MB has written some good lyrics over the course of their three albums, but no rhyme quite compares to “You’re the best girl in the stratosphere, Man I swear your butt’s the fattest sphere.” And, remember, gentlemen, writing songs for girls is usually a more successful means of seduction than honking their breasts.
Mischievous Badger does not understand you if you are a vegetarian,. If you are a vegetarian, you may not understand why Mischievous Badger loves bacon so much, but anyone can understand the awesomeness of the 5-minute rock and roll jam with screaming Muppet voices that is “Bacon Addiction.” No MB album would be complete without Carson yelling random things over two simultaneous organ solos!
Carson Witte and Chris McCarthy have grown up a lot since the picture on the front cover of this album was taken. Actually that’s not true at all. Enjoy this album’s joyous immaturity and may your voyage be a pleasant one.

Recorded at Get Reel Studios and Got Yo Hat Studios. Mixed and Mastered at McMicken Studios. Special thanks to Robert Preston for his phenomenal help once again!

credits

released September 3, 2011

Chris McCarthy- Organ, Piano, Bass
Carson Witte- Vocals, Guitar, Ukelele, Programming

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