1. |
Girl What's Your Name
03:45
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So I met this little cutie patootie with a fruity booty
And she was mighty fine
I said girl you got any spare change?
Cause I'm in need of a dime
She said boy why you always call me baby
Maybe
You don't even know what my mother named me
I started to panic, couldn't find relief
Cause I knew I'd be single by the end of the week
Girl, what's your name
I can never remember
Girls look the same
Whether June or December
I pick up chicks like a chicken breeder
You got a girlfriend? Well I'd like to meet her
But if her name is complex verbally
Then sayin I love you is hyperbole
I mean every single girl wants to go out to tango
And every single girl is bright orange like a mango
When I walk down the street all the girls shout WANGO
And I'm like hey girl, I can't remember her name though
Because of all of this I've got a problem
I got lots of girls who want my ring like Gollum
They all love me but suddenly go solemn
When I have trouble with the name recallin'
Girl, what's your name
I can never remember
Girls look the same
Whether June or December
Girls are insane
To think I know their initials
Girl it's a shame
That we cant be official
I am not gay
But I find girls confusing
Is there a way
To stop the surname abusing
Girl what's your name
Man it's so damn confusing
Girls look the same
So if I forget excuse me
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2. |
Croquet
02:39
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Up in the club
Lookin' for love
I got my croquet balls
I could hit my mallet through your hoop
If you'd just return my calls
So get your tickets
To see my wickets
Cause you know I be ballin'
I have got those finest balls
Manufactured by spalding
And I said
Damn, I feel good today
I'm gonna go play croquet
Ain't no reason ain't no way
That I shouldn't play croquet
Cause Damn, I feel good today
Out on my lawn
Dusk or dawn
Playin' croquet and singing my song
Like "welcome to the land where the players play
Croquet! like everyday"
I like croquet, I like it a lot
Play croquet or you're gonna get shot
I'll pull out my .49 and blast you home to satan
Damn, I feel good today
I'm gonna go play croquet
If you like to sing and dance
Take off those dumb golfer pants and say
Man, I'll just play croquet
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3. |
Turkish Delight
03:32
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Girl, you're the bulb to my electricity
Whenever I'm around you I light up like a Christmas Tree
Girl, I know that this was meant to be
Girl I'm your nemo, and you're my anenome
Girl you are so beautiful
More than just the usual
Let's do business in my cubicle
My love is immovable
Girl I'm singing you this song though I knew it'd be wrong to write
And if I leave, I'm bringing you along, know that you and me bond for life
Girl, you don't mind that I call you girl, right?
Girl if I was Turkish, you'd be my delight
Tonight, you're the only girl in the world
That's an over-exaggeration but it still sounds cool
And if your girl is unimpressed
By the honking of her breasts
Just remember the golden rule
Girls love it when you write them songs cause you know that they'll be impressed
At least more so than if I said girl, you've got a large chest
Most guys wanna head south, but I go west
That didn't make sense, but look, the girls impressed
You're the best girl in the stratosphere
Man I swear your butts the fattest sphere
Are you from outer space?
That's not a pickup line I'm just asking
Girl I'm singing you this song cause I knew it'd be wrong to write
And if I leave, I'm bringing you along, know that you and me bond for life
Girl, you don't mind that I call you girl, right?
Girl if I was Turkish, you'd be my delight
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4. |
Bacon Addiction
05:16
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(COME ON)
Doctor you're mistaken
The only thing wrong with me is these cravings
(COME ON)
Ain't no pill that I can be takin
To keep me from lovin' that delicious bacon, just like
(YUM YUM)
Ever since I was young
There was nobody there to tell me beware, so I
(CHOW DOWN)
All times of the day
I'll eat until all of that swine's gone away
Because ever since I was a little boy I refused to eat anything but breakfast
And even then only if that morning meal was much heartier than lame old chex mix
One day my mother, she served me beef, so I threw the plate back and it barely missed
And that was the first of many times she said "boy we're gonna take you to the therapist"
(COME ON)
Doctor you're mistaken
The only thing wrong with me is these cravings
(COME ON)
Ain't no pill that I can be takin
To keep me from lovin' that delicious bacon, just like
(YUM YUM)
Ever since I was young
There was nobody there to tell me beware, so I
(CHOW DOWN)
All times of the day
I'll eat until all of that swine's gone away
Bacon addiction is a serious problem
Like a psychedelic band with a delirious followin'
And they can be picturin' a mysterious goblin
But the monster chasing me is deleterious hog bum
And everyone thinks that I'm sick and impaired
Cause I give any pig I meet a conspicuous stare
When I'm done with a meal I still sit in my chair
And I pick up my plate and start licking it bare
Breakfast is my favorite meal
But if there's bacon lunch has the same appeal
It's the only food that can make me feel
Like it's my favorite
Cause it's the greatest
Tri-tip's too lean and salmon's too flat
Ham tastes like cheese and turkey tastes like crap
Ribs are only decent, halibut's just lame
Sausage looks like feces and tripe looks like brains
Barbecue sauce is overrated
I don't need my pork cuts marinated
Only a couple bites before I get jaded
But my need for more bacon never is satiated
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